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🔴 TRIGGER WARNING - DRUG USE & SEXUAL HARASSMENT 🔴
It was early in the morning. The boys were already up in the living room watching cartoons. I had been sitting in bed for hours trying to think of something to say to my grandma to let me leave so I could meet up with Ty. I finally settled on helping Michael with some of his housework before he had to leave on a special trip. It wasn't all lies, I had helped him many times before to clean his house, and he was going to take a trip out to the country for a week anyways.
I sat down at my vanity and started on my hair and makeup and put my wig on. I stopped for a minute and took a long look at myself. I looked the same. I didn't think anyone could tell that I was... a fucking tweaker? The thought of me being a "tweaker" sent shivers down my spine. But I am one, right? I smoke meth. It gave me a horrible feeling in my stomach and looked away.
It was almost 7 in the morning now and I had to meet Ty by 8. I could feel myself getting weak from the lack of sleep. I looked over at my bed, trying to remember what it felt like to fall asleep at night. I took a deep breath and headed out of my room. I couldn't shake the feeling that something bad would happen if I didn't pick him up like I said I would. I wasn't sure what would happen, but I felt it, I just knew it. I had to go.
I walked into the living room and the boys ran up to me and gave me a big hug. For a second, it felt like a normal morning; a normal life. I felt tears come to my eyes, but I stifled them back.
"Hey Memaw, I promised Michael I'd help him clean his house before his trip. I completely forgot, but he's paying me. Do you mind if I go?"
"Of course not, I know you're safe with him. Do you know when you'll be back? The boys miss you."
Here came the heartbreak. My chest tightened and the tears came full force, but I turned to the wall before she could see.
"I'll be back by 5 at the latest. You know how his house is. It can be an all day chore. I think he's going to buy lunch too."
"Okay, that's fine. Just call me when you're on your way back home."
"Sure thing, thank you Memaw."
I kissed my boys goodbye and waved at them through the window as I got into my car. As I was pulling out of the driveway, I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. I was sobbing, ruining my makeup. I was almost unable to see the road. I drove for a little bit and pulled over in a church parking lot. I let myself cry until I couldn't anymore. I pulled the visor down and looked in the mirror. My eyes were red, my face was puffy, and I had this overwhelming guilt sitting on my chest like a ton of bricks.
I wiped my face, fixed my makeup and looked over at the church. They had a sign that said "God does not put you through anything you can not handle". I rolled my eyes and said out loud "What the fuck, God. Do you really want me on meth? Do you like to see me tear myself away from my family for fucking drugs? Fuck you".
Anger replaced my sadness and I started hitting the steering wheel until my knuckles started bleeding. (My airbag and horn were broke, just FYI) Here I was sitting in an empty parking lot losing my mind. I could go home. I could go spend time with my boys, but here I was going to God knows where. It was like a magnetic pull. I couldn't convince myself to go back, no matter how badly I wanted to.
"Who am I?" I whispered to myself. I sighed and grabbed my phone. Michael had messaged me.
"Toast, are you okay? I haven't heard from you in a while. It's unusual."
I didn't reply. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. No I wasn't okay, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I found Ty's number and sent him a text.
"I'm on my way, are you up?"
He responded quickly. "Yeah, hurry. Everyone is asleep and I need to go. Meet me at the end of the street."
"Be there soon, I replied.
I took one last look at the sign on the church and left.
As I pulled down the road, I saw Ty standing by the stop sign. He was carrying a black duffel bag and a blue backpack. I pulled up next to him and he got in.
"Thanks for getting me. You want to smoke before we do anything?"
"Yes, please. It's been a rough morning."
"Yeah, same here. Shit went down after you left. Dude started wigging out on everyone and tried to shoot Ethan. It's all good though. He was just up for too long."
"Oh shit. Okay. Well, where do you want to go?"
"Go to Walmart. Just park in the back."
"Walmart?"
"Yeah, I do this all the time, we're good."
I drove to Walmart as Ty was messing with the radio until he found the hip hop & rap station. I despised rap, but I wasn't going to say anything about it. He grabbed the duffel bag from behind him and pulled out the flame thrower of a torch he had last night and showed it to me.
"I deboed this from Ethan. He stole it from some friends, so I got it back."
He seemed proud of his accomplishment as he smiled at me. I noticed he had perfect teeth; a perfect smile. He definitely didn't seem like the meth smoking type to me which made me a little uneasy.
"Hell yeah man, that's awesome."
"Yeah, I took some other shit too. He likes to steal from everyone. He acts like he's your friend, but he's a piece of shit. Don't let him lie to you."
"He's always been pretty nice to me. None of my stuff has gone missing yet."
"Yet. Just wait, you'll see."
We pulled up to Walmart. I parked in the back of a nearly vacant parking lot and shut off the engine.
"You got a big ass car, lets get in the back. The tinted windows help for sure. This is your car?"
"Yeah, I'm still paying on it."
"Damn, you don't find a lot of people in the game with a nice car that isn't hot."
He climbed in the back and I followed. He pulled a pipe from his backpack and a little green bag of dope. My hands were shaking and my heart started to race. I watched his every move. It was like he couldn't get it ready fast enough. I knew that the first hit would get me out of this dark place I was in. I was impatient, but I tried to keep my cool.
"Here, you hit it first since you came to get me and all."
"Oh, thanks!" I said as I quickly grabbed it from his hands. I held the pipe to my mouth, grabbed the lighter and waited for the smoke to start circling. As soon as it was ready, I took a long hit and closed my eyes. I held it as long as I possibly could. I felt all the negativity wash away. My body didn't hurt, the negative thoughts were gone, and I felt awake and happy.
"Thank you so much, you have no idea how much I needed this right now."
"I have an idea," he said as he took the pipe.
We passed it back and forth for almost an hour before we climbed back up front and made a game plan.
"I've got some stuff to take care of, so just go where I tell you. You don't have to talk to anyone, just sit down and look pretty and you can have all the dope you want, okay?"
"Um, okay, sure." I was a little offended by "sit down and look pretty", but I didn't want to argue, so I kept my opinions to myself.
"Bet. You know where Hanaford street is?"
"No, what's it by?"
"It's off golf course lane."
"Oh, I know where that is, just point me in the right direction."
We left Walmart and I was as paranoid as ever. Could they see us on the cameras? What if someone saw us and reported us? I started worrying and got out of there as quickly as I could and took all the back roads to get back to the main road again.
Ty was singing along to something about a "no flex zone" when I pulled up to golf course lane. Oddly enough, there were no golf courses down this way. I never understood it.
"Okay, turn right up here next to this church."
I turned down what looked like an alley way. Every house had old furniture and broken down cars in the yard. He pointed me towards a little yellow brick house with a busted fence. I pulled into the tiny driveway and parked the car.
"Just stay here. You can hit this if you want. You're good out here."
He handed me his pipe and got out of the car. I took a hit and watched him jump up on the porch, completely ignoring the stairs next to him. I sat in the car for a while, continuously hitting the pipe like my life depended on it. It was strange to be sitting out in the open smoking meth, but it was a little exhilarating to be honest.
I heard the sounds of a very angry woman yelling from in the house, and out came Ty and another man. He was a tall, skinny, black man. He had a huge smile on his face as he came towards the car.
"Hey, this is Brick. He's a good friend of mine. He's coming with us today."
"Hey, lil mama, what's your name?" he asked.
"Emily," I said. I didn't have a good feeling about him. Maybe it was the way he was looking at me, or the fact that he had a gun in his hand, but either way, I didn't like him. He hopped in the front seat and Ty sat in the back. I looked back at him with a worried look on my face.
Ty looked up at me, "He's going to show us where to go," he smiled at me, "he's going to smoke with us for a minute first."
Brick sat his gun on the dash board and pulled out an old looking green pipe and handed it to me.
"Ladies first," he said.
"Thanks." I grabbed it from his hand and looked over at him. He kept smiling at me, but in a way that made me uncomfortable. He made my skin crawl and I wasn't sure why.
I took a hit from the pipe and handed it back. It tasted different than what Ty had.
"Good shit, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"You guess?" He said as he slid his hand onto my thigh. "It's red dope, shits better than what Ty has."
I looked down at his hand and looked over at Ty. He was looking too and his face went from happy to pissed in seconds.
"Hey, keep your nasty ass hands off her. She ain't no dope hoe."
"Aw man, you know I'm just playing".
Brick looked at me and slowly slid his hand off and raised his hands in the air. "Aight, I'm sorry miss."
"You're good," I said. Although it wasn't good. I was uncomfortable, but I didn't know what else to say.
We drove to 5 different houses within the same 4 blocks for hours, back and forth. These houses weren't like Brick's. They were nice, normal houses with swing sets, nice cars, lawn chairs... but the people coming out of the houses looked like people from a backwoods horror movie. None of them I saw had many teeth, their clothes were dirty and ripped, and they all looked as if they haven't showered in a few weeks. It was surreal. I'm not sure what else I expected, but I guess I just wasn't ready for all of this.
I never figured out what Ty and Brick were doing, but they were in and out of these houses all day long. I had been sitting in the car for hours, hitting pipes and playing on Facebook. When they finally got what they wanted, Ty told me to go to Brick's house where I could finally get out of the car, but I couldn't come inside.
We all got out and Ty and Brick went inside. I sat on the porch taking in the scenery, or lack thereof. It was hot and humid outside, almost 105 degrees, so I tried to stay in the shade without getting too close to the door.
Brick came out and stood behind me.
"You want something to drink baby?"
I looked around, "Me?"
"Yes you, you're the only one out here."
"Where's Ty?"
"He's handling business. You want something?"
"Water if you have some."
"Okay, come stand by the door, I'll bring you some."
I got up and leaned against the door frame. I couldn't see into his house much. All the windows were covered where no light could come in. Brick came back, but with no water.
He walked up to the door and stood close enough that he was just an inch away from me. He looked down at me, and I looked up at him. He slid one hand around my waist and his other hand grabbed me between my legs. He pulled me close to him.
"You are too pretty to be doing this type of shit," he whispered in my ear. "I can show you something better than this." He started to slide his hand up my shirt when Ty came back.
"Yo, what the fuck are you doing?"
Brick pushed me away and walked back to Ty.
"Man, we're just talking."
"I told you, she's mine. Don't fucking touch her."
I was in shock. I felt like I was paralyzed through the whole thing. Ty saw the look on my face and glared at Brick.
"Like I said, don't fucking touch her again, She doesn't want you," Ty said. "I'm sorry Em, let's go. I've got other places to be."
I looked up at Brick before I left. He wasn't smiling anymore. He had a stern look on his face and nodded at me before he shut his door.
"I'm sorry, he's a piece of shit."
"it's...it's okay," I said.
Ty and I drove away. I must have been visibly shaken because he kept apologizing.
"I'm fine, really. Don't worry about it."
"I didn't bring you out here so you could get fucked by that asshole. I know you're not mine, but I had to tell him that this morning so he'd stay off of you. Obviously that didn't work."
"I'll survive," I said, "but it's getting close to 5. I need to head back to my kids."
"Oh shit, you have kids?"
"I have 2 boys. My grandma is watching them."
"Oh shit, drop me off at the end of pyramid road. Go home to your kids. I wouldn't have had you do any of this had I known you had kids."
"It's fine dude, it's too late now anyways. Like, for everything... You know?"
He looked at me with sad expression. "Yeah, I know."
I dropped him off, called my grandma and drove back home. I made it before 5. The boys ran out of the door and into my arms. My grandma smiled when she saw me. I knew if she looked too close, she could tell that I was high, so I avoided eye contact.
I spent the rest of the afternoon with Aiden and Gavin. We played games, watched TV and read books. This made up for the shit Brick did. I tried to push it to the back of my mind. I didn't want to think about it any more than I had to. Surely this wouldn't happen again. I made myself believe that anyways.
I tucked the kids into bed and crawled into mine. I wrapped myself up tight and tried to fall asleep. My legs and arms kept twitching. I hadn't slept for days. I knew I needed it. I closed my eyes and laid as still as I could until I finally fell asleep.
To be continued...
I still to this day have no idea what they were doing running back & forth from house to house. It didn't look like dealing. Maybe tying up loose ends? Idk and I don't care.
Okay so, Brick. He had a nickname by something similar, so Brick is the closest thing I could come up with without obviously outing who he is IRL. Unfortunately, he pops up in my story a lot...
he's a major piece of shit to this day. I have no hope for that man. I hate to say it, but I don't.
Here's some pictures I took from this day and a few days prior. I'm going to post them when I can to see if ya'll can see the progression of my using as the story goes on.
