.png)
🔴 TRIGGER WARNING - DRUG USE 🔴
As the kids laid down for bed, I told my grandma I needed to head over to a friend's house. She looked at me with concern, but let me go. As I drove through town, I played some of my old favorite songs. As the sounds came through the speaker, it just seemed alien and unfamiliar. Songs that I used to love and sing at the top of my lungs no longer resonated with me. It left me with an empty feeling inside. I switched the radio on and put it on the rap station. The songs about drugs, sex, and making money, that I've become all too familiar with, now felt like home.
I found my way back to Gio's house and parked right behind his truck. As I got out, I squinted at the windows, trying to see any sign of life inside. After a few seconds, I saw a flash of light, almost like that of a lighter, pass the front window. Thankfully he was there... or someone else was. Either way, I walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.
Heavy footsteps could be heard from outside of the house, and the door swung open.
"Hey, you came back!" said Gio as he ushered me inside.
"Yeah, haven't you figured that out yet? I always come back."
"Yeah. Suspicious, but whatever."
"What?" I asked in confusion. How was that suspicious? I was just trying to be a good friend, or whatever I was to him.
"Oh, nothing. So about Ty. Have you talked to him at all?"
"He messaged me earlier today, but I ignored it. I'll just tell him I was asleep."
"What did he say?"
"He asked for a ride. That's all he ever really ask for."
"Can I see your phone?"
"Yeah... Wait, why?"
"I need to talk to him myself. I know his phone number."
"Okay, but I think it's shut off. I talk to him through messenger."
"Different phone. He always has a phone that's on for business."
I gave him a puzzled look but handed over my phone anyways. As he was dialing Ty, I lit a cigarette and watched him pace the room in the dim light. It looked as if he were walking through fog in a horror movie as he slowly walked through the smoke lingering in the air.
"Damnit, he didn't answer. Do you know where he is?"
"I have no idea. He never stays at one place long, unless he's hurt."
"I doubt he's hurt. I'm going to try again."
He dialed the number again, this time getting an answer.
"It's not Emily, it's Gio and I need to talk to you... Yeah, you fucked my girl over and... you said you gave her a G but it wasn't! I've been in the game longer than you, I know how to eyeball it and I could see that was way less than what you promised her... No, this was all me, and you're going to make it right. Where are you? ... Yes, you will. Where are you? ... bet. You be there when I am, or I'm coming in."
He hung up and looked over at me.
"Let's go."
We were heading to a cheap hotel across town. Gio said Ty was pissed, but he agreed to make it right. I guess he really did fuck me over. It didn't bother me as much as it did Gio. He stared straight ahead with a smug, fiery look of determination as we pulled into the parking lot.
"Let me call him and let him know I'm here."
"Sure," I said, handing over my phone again.
"I'm here. You have 5 minutes to meet me in the parking lot," he said into the phone.
He hung up before Ty could even respond.
"Please don't get hurt or anything. It's just dope. I can get more."
"We didn't come all this way to turn around. He knows not to fuck over me or my friends."
"I'm sure he didn't even consider us friends when this happened... Wait, we're friends? I'm not just a getaway driver to you?"
"Nah, you're really cool. You've got a good heart, and you seem like a genuinely good person, like, you aren't just in it for the dope. I like that about you."
"Oh... well, thank you."
"What? You never had friends before?"
"No, but the last friend I had... well he's how I ended up here. And he's a really shitty person, so..."
"Oh, I got you."
We sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the clock on the dashboard and occasionally looking up to see if Ty had made his way outside yet. We waited and waited, but he never came.
"You can't depend on a tweaker in a hurry," he said. "I'll be right back."
In seconds he was out of the car, storming across the parking lot and into the hotel lobby. I felt so guilty watching him go to defend me, but I knew there was no stopping him at this point. I watched the lobby doors anxiously, waiting for him to reappear. Five, ten, then fifteen minutes slowly ticked by and there was no sign of him. I was afraid he had gotten into an argument with Ty and ended up in a brawl. I closed my eyes and said a little prayer, then as soon as I opened them, he was walking towards the car with Ty. I rolled the window down as they both came up to me.
"Here. Sorry," Ty said as he threw a small bag of dope in my lap.
I looked up at him and mouthed the words "I'm sorry".
"Did you apologize?" asked Gio.
"Yes. I need to go. You stormed my room in the middle of one of the biggest deals of my life. Don't fucking bother me again."
Ty stormed off back to the hotel and Gio got in the car.
"Uh, thanks for the help. I appreciate it."
"It's no problem. Let's go to Troy's house. He's got a scale. I want to make sure he gave you enough."
"That's a gram. Right on the dot," said Troy as he and Gio worked with the scale.
"Bull shit, It says 0100! It should say 1.000!"
"No, Gio. There's a dot there. It's a gram. See?"
"Oh. Oh well, fuck me I've been reading it wrong the whole time. Shit."
Danielle and I sat back laughing at Gio's lesson of the day. We were sitting together in the living room as they were right inside their bedroom where we could hear everything going on. Troy came back out and tossed me the bag, and sat down across from us as Gio followed, still looking puzzled.
"You gonna share?" Troy asked, nodding at the bag in my hands.
"Of course! I'll always share!" I said happily. "Just let me take a shard to put in my pipe and ya'll can split the rest."
"Hell yeah, thanks!" said Troy as he walked back into his room.
I took the biggest shard and held it gently in my hand and handed the bag to Danielle. She looked over at Gio and nodded towards her room. They both got up and started walking away.
"Hey, I'll be right back. Go ahead and smoke, I'll be right out."
They walked into the room, closed and locked the door. I was confused; I didn't understand why they all left me alone in here after I just gave them all of my dope, but it didn't matter in the end. I could sit here and get high in the comfort of a house, instead of the floorboard of my car, of a dark empty room.
As I took a few hits, I listened carefully but never heard a peep come from them. After a while, Gio finally came out. He looked angry and his eyes were bigger than I had ever seen them before. Did he shoot up? I thought he didn't do that. Is that why they all went in there without me?
"Are you ready?" he asked in a deeper, calmer voice than normal.
"Yeah... You alright?"
"I'm great!" he said with a smile.
"Okay, well, where are we going?"
"Back to my house for a bit 'till we can figure something out to do."
"Sure, sounds good to me."
Honestly, I liked being at Troy's house. As dirty, fucked up, and weird as it was, it felt like a home away from home. I reluctantly got off of the couch and followed Gio out of the house.
We pulled up to his place and started heading up the stairs when we heard someone talking. It was dark, so we couldn't see anyone. I thought I was just hearing things, but Gio heard it too.
"Gio! That you?" yelled a woman's voice. It sounded like it was nearby, but we couldn't tell.
"Who's asking?"
"It's Brittany, bitch!"
Suddenly a flash of light came on from his porch. There stood a short, skinny woman with long brown hair. She was smiling until she saw me.
"Who the fuck is that? She looks a little big to be your type."
I felt my face get red. I felt a combination of embarrassment and rage. Who the fuck was this woman, calling me out when she didn't even know who I was.
"Hey, don't be a cunt. This is my friend, Emily."
She shown her flashlight down at me, then back to Gio. He started walking up the stairs, but I stayed next to the car. I watched as he walked up to greet her. She groped him a few times, but he pushed her away. She stood back with her arms folded, like a child who didn't get their way. Gio walked back down the stairs to me. I felt awkward being here. Obviously I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, yet again.
"Hey, don't worry about her. She's just a dope hoe. She's feisty though. Like, she will kick your ass."
"Fuck her I'll kick her ass!"
"No, that's not what I meant. I mean she looks small, but she's tough. She just showed up for dick and dope, but she's not getting either. You wanna come in? I won't let her do anything to you."
"Nah. I think I'm good. I'll just go home and do something there."
"Hey, don't let her intimidate you."
"Oh, I'm not intimidated in the slightest. A little pissed, but not intimidated. Seriously though, I just want to go home for a while."
"Okay, will you come back tomorrow?"
"Yeah... what time?"
"Just show up whenever. Neither of us have a car and I doubt she has a working phone, so I should be here."
"Okay, have a good night."
"You too... You promise you'll be back?"
"I promise."
Gio slowly nodded and walked back up the stairs. I looked up and saw Brittany still looking down at me. I got into my car quickly and slammed the door shut. I don't know why she made me so mad. I've been called fat multiple times in my life. Hell, just a few weeks ago someone told me I'm 'pretty for a big girl, but pretty is pushing it'.
I drove away quickly, trying to get home as fast as I could.
I made it into the house without waking up anyone. It was getting close to four in the morning now. I pushed everything on my bed aside and sat down. I pulled my pipe and lighter out of my purse and took a few hits. I couldn't get her shitty little comment out of my head. I shook my head and groaned.
"Goddamnit. Stupid fucking dope hoe," I said as I readied my pipe for another hit.
I mindlessly watched the smoke fill the bowl and swirl around. I felt my eyes close. I knew I was tired. I wasn't sure when the last time was that I slept. Most of the time I just laid down with my eyes closed and tossed and turned. I knew I haven't actually slept good in weeks.
I went to take a hit, but dropped my pipe on the bed, hot liquid spilling out onto the sheets.
"Fuck!" I shouted. I was scared I had lost most of my dope, but thankfully there was still some left. I could always scrape the sides to get more out. Matt had actually taught me that trick. Just straighten out a bobby pin and you can get a whole other bowl from it.
Anyways, I sat back up and stared at the floor for a second, regaining my composure. The next thing I knew I had burned my palm. I fell asleep and the pipe touched my hand. There was a big, round, red circle on the side of my hand. It stung, but it faded away quickly.
"No, no, no. How can I sleep? I'm fucking high. I'll lose my high. There's no way I'm smoking this to fall asleep," I said to myself. I tried to regain my composure again and took another hit. As I blew the smoke out, everything went dark.
My eyes opened slowly. I saw my pipe on the floor and my lighter still in my hand. I blinked a few times and realized it was daylight outside. I had fallen asleep sitting up. My back was killing me. I looked over to notice a stack of clean clothes had been sat on my vanity.
Oh shit. Did my grandma see me like this? Did she see the pipe?! Did she try to wake me up!? I started panicking at the thought of her confronting me about my addiction. I was scared for her to find out. I was mostly just scared to let her down.
I looked at my phone and saw it was already one in the afternoon. I knew I had to get my shit together and spend some time with the kids before I did anything else. I slowly got up and changed clothes. I picked up my pipe and carefully put it back in my purse. I looked at myself in the mirror before leaving the room and tried to brace myself for whatever conversation I might have with my grandma.
I took a deep breath and headed out of the room.
To be continued... Part two coming soon.
I decided to break this up into two chapters. I remembered that the main plot in this part of my story has more people in here, leading up to and after it, so I need to rewrite a lot.
Btw, yes they were in there shooting up, but I was mostly oblivious to it. The thing about Gio, after he did a bump, he would always get real serious and talk really low. I would call him Batman, lol. If you are familiar with King of the Hill, he would also talk like Boomhauer, so I came up with the nickname "Bathauer". He would be really sketched out when he just did a dose, so to him, it wasn't funny, but it was always hilarious to me.
Below is a picture I took of him wearing a pink sombrero, playing guitar at Troy's house after he did a bump. I remember calling him "Bathauer" here and it took him forever to get what I was saying. Just imagine Batman talking like Boomhauer, hahahaha.
