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🔴 TRIGGER WARNING - DRUG USE 🔴
I was going through a notes app I've had since 2013. I have notes saved on there from YEARS ago. I found a "letter" I wrote my best friend when we were using together. The names are starred out because I haven't introduced any of these people yet and I'm not sure what I am changing their names to.
I wrote this the morning of November 5th, 2014. I remember when I did it too and the night before. It was one of the worst nights we had together.
Before reading, please understand that me & this person were only friends. He was my ride or die. We never had a relationship, we just became really close and saved each other from a lot of shit.
He's currently in jail and should be out late November of this year. I am hoping he stays clean. He's a great person when he's not using. Anyways, this was what I wrote to him. This was word for word* what I wrote while I was high and just experienced a shitty event. Trying to talk a tweaker down for something is like trying to fit an elephant in a Prius.
Impossible.
***... It is 6:01 a.m. I'm in the living room at ***** & *****'s house. Had to almost force you to lay down. You spent hours in the woods saying **** and that bald dude and someone else unknown is in the woods clicking a shot gun.. Keep thinking everything and everyone is after you. I got yelled and cussed at by **** and ****** and some other bitch who was here just cause you wanted me to ask and make sure they weren't [talking shit about you]... then you came out and said idk what she is talking about, she's wigging. You told me to "leave, please leave", Got mean... saw me and said why are you still here!? You sang a song about me earlier in the night... when you played guitar those few hours, it was so beautiful watching you be *** again. But the exact moment you stopped.... damn... back to a monster. You lied to ***** and ***** about having no more dope. We found a spoon, more needles, and more dope. You said you were going to kill yourself. Had *****'s knife too... you thought everything I said was a lie... you kept hopping back and forth from monster tweaker to i love you all night... told ***** I wanted to marry you?? Wtf? And kept telling everyone I'm your girl.... yet when i asked what was with that, you got PISSED.. you gotta understand why I'm so confused there. All I tried to do was help and keep you safe from yourself. Oh, and you gave me your word, and lied... then got mad at me for it. What's wrong with you... we all want *** back :'(
When we first met, he said his word was like writing in blood. Since he told me that, everything he gave me his word on was true. He never failed me until this night. To explain, he had been up for almost 6 days and doing back to back shots.
I mentioned that I had to force him to lay down, which took hours to do. I was like a mama bear at these people's house (the house I ended up moving into). I made people eat, rest, sleep and took care of them the best that I could.
One time, after I first met dude, the one I was writing to, another older dude came over and got me high and passed out in the living room with a bowl of food on his chest. Dude was like "Don't touch him, he will fuck you up!" (this guy was in a gang) and he sincerely meant that. I didn't listen. I took his food, turned out the light and laid a blanket over him. He jumped up ready to swing but saw me and just looked pissed as hell. I told him I was covering him up so he could get some sleep.
Dude was looking at me terrified, but this guy I was covering up smiled and said thank you. He slept and since that day we became really good friends. I'm still good friends with him and care about him deeply, but I haven't seen him in 3 years.
By taking care of these thugs, drug dealers, and gang members, I got through a lot of shit real easy. Well, easier than I would have without them. I made a lot of friends with many important people. I could show up to that guys mama's house right now and she'd invite me right on in (She was a user too).
Anyways, went off on something else random...
Thought I would share this with you all. Just a little side story.
*I added what is in [ ] because it didn't make sense. I didn't change or take away anything.